As a young girl I was always very thin. I could eat whatever and whenever I wanted. I never gained weight. I was 118lbs when I had my first child and got right back to pre-baby weight. I was 130 when I got pregnant again, 8 years later, still underweight for my 5ft 8inch frame.
When my second child was a toddler I started putting on weight. Five years later when I got pregnant with my third child I was 202 lbs.
I had no idea what was going on with my body. I had gained 70lbs. I had always been able to eat what I wanted. My body was betraying me!
In 2002 I got divorced and later in the year was diagnosed with stage 4 invasive cervical cancer. I had to go to Mayo for treatment. While I was there I got on the scale which read 270lbs. I was so appalled. I vowed to lose some of this weight.
I did manage to lose 91lbs. I was on a mission. Over the next few years I inched my way back up to 200 but stayed there for a long time thinking this is just where I'm going to be for life.
August 6, 2013 I found out my mom had stage 3 lung cancer. I hadn't seen her in 8 years. When I saw her for the first time I vowed to quit smoking. She looked 85 instead of 65. That was the last day I smoked.
I tried really hard not to compensate my craving to smoking with food but as mom got sicker, it got harder.
Mom passed away November 22, 2013 from a very short battle of cancer. It was a very difficult time for us all.
The following April, my father-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We lost him a few months later on August 31st 2014.
December 22, 2014, my dad hugged me goodbye as he left my house and was hit by someone that ran a stop sign. Daddy died from his injuries Jan 10, 2015.
Needless to say our family was nothing short of broken after all of the loss. My weight was climbing but I knew I had to pick my battles. I could grieve or focus on my weight but not both. I focused on my grieving because at this point, I was suicidal and not handling the losses well.
In May of 2015 I heard about Melissa. (I called Jenny, tried weight watchers, all the fads in the past) I liked her philosophy of life changes, not a diet.
I made an appointment with her.
My first visit she gave me lots of good information on proteins vs carbs and sugar, had me download my fitness pal to track, we talked about how sleep plays a big part in our weight too, who knew?
She told me to come back in 2 weeks for a recheck and to go over my blood work results. She also mentioned that I should be down about 8lbs at next visit.
Next visit I was only down 4lbs and I was scared to see her. I thought, she is going to be so disappointed in me. I didn't even want to go, but I did. I was so amazed when Melissa turned into my biggest cheerleader over my 4lb weight loss! I felt so good when I left her office!
Over the next several weeks I dropped 20lbs. But it stopped there. Melissa realized that I needed mental health work first. I was still not in my right mind after all of the loss. I was anxious, depressed, overall not doing well. We decided to focus on my mental health, then focus on my physical health.
It seemed like forever, but I was finally mentally healthy enough to start focusing on my physical health. Of course, the 20 pounds plus more, came back. I was up to 240 pounds!
November of 2016 I started implementing the tools I had learned from Melissa. No sugar before noon, high protein low carb breakfast, high protein low carb lunch, not NO carb, low carb. If I had a burger, I took of the top bun, I stopped with low fat ranch and sour cream, taking out the fat just means replaced with sugars, I avoided French fries, potatoes, bread and butter with ever meal, added vegetables and some fruits, cut way down on my best friend, Coca-Cola, stopped sitting down with a bag of chips and the dip container, no more ice cream treats every night before bed. In fact I cut out all eating after about 7:00. If I ate enough protein through the day I wasn't hungry after supper anyway.
If I had pasta, I would take the meat and sauce and a tiny tiny bit of pasta. The sauce and meat is the best part anyway.
After awhile I realized I was no longer craving junk. I didn't even want my nightly ice cream treat, if I wanted a piece of candy, I had one. I sit between 3 dishes full of chocolate at work every day and go weeks without having even one. I stopped craving carbs, I can walk right past chips and dip, doesn't even phase me. If I do decide to have chips I do not take the bag, I take a small baggies and put a small amount in it, when it's gone, I'm done.
I no longer wake up planning what I'm going to "get" to eat today. I rarely think of food. I eat at meal time, enough to fuel my body and I move on. I do not stress eat, I do not finish everything in my plate, I take much smaller portions. I'm using food to fuel my body, not my emotions.
November to April I've lost 55 pounds. I've gone from a size 18 pants to a 12 and a 2X top to a Large/Extra Large, my bra size has gone from a 40J to a 34H. The beginning of April I did decide to join a gym. I know I need to keep my mental health in check as much as my physical health. I'm sure the workout is good for my body but I do it for my mind. I love it. I feel so cleansed after a work out.
Currently my weight loss has slowed down a lot but none the less, I am still losing. I feel like I'm not even trying. I live my life, make good choices and I'm getting healthy! That's all that counts. I couldn't have gotten through all the loss and gotten physically healthy without Melissa my Savior!! 💕💕💕